What Does Your Bedroom Say About Your Relationship?

Special FSIM February Event:

Transforming Your Life Through Your Space!

Susan Shehata

Holistic Wellness Educator + Social Entrepreneur




What Does your Bedroom Say about your Relationship?

By Susan Shehata



Your home is a mirror of your life. When you are feeling chaotic, your spaces reflect that chaos. And when you tidy the space, you may be rewarded with a more relaxed state of mind.

But beyond the general feelings that are evoked by clean or cluttered spaces, each room of your house represents a unique connection to different aspects of your life.

One of the most potent of these reflections happens in your bedroom. Because of its personal nature, your bedroom represents your identity and your most intimate self.

Your bedroom also reflects your relationship to partnership, whether you are currently involved or single.


Here are four bedroom personalities and what they may be saying about your relationship with yourself and a significant other


The Perfect Bedroom

What it looks like:

This bedroom is put together. It looks like a magazine feature, every single day. Everything coordinates perfectly and is finished from top to bottom. Objects are in perfect working order and always exactly in place.

What it says: The perfect bedroom may represent the desire for control in your life and relationship. Control isn't inherently negative. Creating a controlled environment at home, where you feel completely safe and that things are handled, may create more adaptability in the rest of your life. Be mindful, however, if this behavior is keeping you from addressing the deeper issues of control, or lack thereof, that you are experiencing in your partnership. 

Consider letting your room get messy this week and don't address it immediately. Pay attention to what comes up internally. 


The Cluttered Bedroom:

What it looks like:

This bedroom has more stuff than can reasonably fit in the space. Therefore, there is clutter lying around that needs to be dealt with. Many of the spaces in the room are taken up with a project, overflow of a closet or dresser, or some other object that needs attention.

What it says:

The cluttered bedroom may indicate avoidance. Literally, there are things in this space that need your attention, but figuratively, it can mean that something else in your life needs to be addressed. Clutter distracts us, so when we are focused on either the appearance or the maintenance of clutter, it can be a way to avoid relationship issues.

The cluttered bedroom can also be a sign of protection. Having an abundance of objects around us acts like a shield, so when we feel the need to protect ourselves, we create physical boundaries with our belongings.

Experiment with clearing the clutter this week and observe what comes up emotionally.


The Distracted Bedroom

What it looks like:

This bedroom is a very functional space. Think television, books and a laptop. Heck, maybe you've even managed to squeeze in a desk or a home gym. 

What it says:

Since the bedroom, by its nature, is intended for rest and intimacy, the distracted bedroom can keep us from those goals. If there is a fear or discomfort around intimacy, it can be more comfortable to have other activities that require your attention in the bedroom. Similar to the cluttered bedroom, the distracted bedroom is often a sign of some kind of avoidance.

Try limiting the use of your distractions 2-3 times this week, and see what you find yourself thinking about or what comes up in your relationship.


The Imbalanced Bedroom 

What it looks like:

The bedroom may be imbalanced in layout, space distribution or design. There may be one side of the bed that has a very narrow walkway, or perhaps only one partner can fit their clothes in the bedroom. Maybe the room was designed with only one partner's taste in mind.

What it says:

The balance of the bedroom corresponds to the balance of power in your relationship. Now, again, power is not a "bad" word. In this context, it means that one person has the dominant personality, or is more likely to get their way in situations. This may be a healthy dynamic for your specific situation, because you have found harmony with it. That being said, it may breed unspoken resentment.

Consider addressing one of these imbalances this week and see how you both react.




Overall, keep in mind that symbolism is individual, so while these four patterns are very common, they are not absolute. Start paying attention to your individual space habits and allow your bedroom to inform you of your own, unique deeper patterns.


For more on this topic, join Susan Shehata for

Transforming your Life through your Space, on February 9th via Zoom 





Susan Shehata, also known as The Space Guruâ„¢, is a nationally known Wellness Educator and Creative and Social Entrepreneur, who specializes in helping people transform their lives, by Unsticking the Story that keeps them stuck. She does that through speaking, writing, performing, wellness services, educational programs, business masterminds and events.

Though her offerings are varied, the goal of her work is the same: to clear deep patterns of resistance. 

From the creative merging of her former eco-friendly shop with a healing center to her scholarship program for healing childhood trauma, Susan is an entrepreneur with a heavy focus on social innovation. Susan has been a professional performer for twenty years and a certified wellness professional, facilitating and educating on transformational healing and space work with an emphasis on trauma recovery, for eighteen years. She is also a credentialed mediator (Qualified Neutral under Rule 114 of the Minnesota General Rules of Practice) and Conflict Coach.

Susan's writing has appeared in The Huffington Post, Elephant Journal and the Twin Cities Pioneer Press and her column, The Space Guruâ„¢, has appeared in the Edge Magazine. Susan was the co-host and co-producer of the weekly radio show, Raising the Consciousness on AM950, for two years.  

Susan is the creator of The Fabulous Paper Purge, a free online program that was featured in the Pioneer Press, on Fox News and KARE11, and has supported over 1300 participants. Susan shares her wisdom, through speaking events and workshops on the topics of core beliefs and conscious space, with individuals, organizations and corporations across the country.

Susan is a connector who is passionate about supporting other entrepreneurs, community building and inspiring individuals to take action in ways that benefit themselves and humanity. www.SusanShehata.com